JIYO AUR JEENE DO

Threats to our Health, Peace, Love and Prosperity - Comparisons, Complaints & Criticism!

 

We need positivity to fulfil our core emotional needs, which I like to think of as peace, love, and understanding. Negativity–in conversations, emotions, and actions–often springs from a threat to one of the three needs: a fear that bad things are going to happen, a fear of not being loved, or a fear of being disrespected.

These negative feelings seem to come out of us in the form of negative behaviours like comparisons, criticism and complains, then branch out into other emotions such as anger, stress, and feeling overwhelmed.

The truth is, people themselves are not negative; behaviours are. People are affected by negativity, which turns into negative behaviours. 

For example, there are constant comparisons; we might be told how our colleagues are better than us, how they meet their targets with ease while I am always late for my deadlines. Parents might guilt trip how my sister is more caring for them. Spouse might find the neighbour’s wife hotter, younger.  Comparison sometimes, used as a tool for encouraging others to do better in life. So, there is constant comparison between siblings, among peers, with cousins etc.

I believe it’s a complete fallacy, because behind every comparison the implicit message is ‘you are not good enough’. So, comparison is essentially criticism. All that it does is chips at one’s sense of self worth.

Truth is, people criticise to create emotional distance, to feel better about themselves or because they envy others.

Our brains are designed to work to make us more like those that we are around. If we are around negativity, we will become more negative. If we surround ourselves with uplifting people and messages, we will become more positive. 

What happens when we don’t have a choice? Sometimes the negative people in our lives are family members or work colleagues. This makes it even more important to know how to deal with the negativity so that we don’t absorb it. 

Have a open mind, act positive and feel gratitude for the good things happen to you. Positive thinking is that, rather than criticise show people how to do things, show respect or mind your own business. Show praise and empathy rather than criticise.

The next devil is Complain! For example, with parents, it’s a continuous lament about the good old days and how today’s generation is so laidback and useless. Complainers find something wrong with anything. Nothing will ever be good enough for them. It doesn’t matter if someone does everything right, complainers will always find a way to pick it apart. Complainers focus on the negative and fail to see all of the amazing things around them.

When you throw negative energy at another human being, you are hurting him or her, whether you realise it or not. At the same time, you are throwing negative energy out in the universe for yourself. What you put out is what you get back.

Accept that everyone is unique, skillfull, and beautiful in his/her own way. Their purpose of life is different, and we should appreciate for what they are and respect their choices.

Happiness, wealth, love, friendship, health, or success are leaves or branches of Peace. Sow peace and If you manage to find this peace within, you will definitely have Joy. And this inner joy would bring you everything you want in or from your life.

Happiness and peace also come through simple things you love, such as reading a good book, being with people you love, travelling, or a hobby. You can enjoy many moments of peace every day, when you do small, simple things you love and through acts of gratitude. Think about solutions, not about problems.

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Ishan Jain

Author & Editor

An opportunity to work is good luck for me. I put my soul into it. Each such opportunity opens the gates for the next one.

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