These
negative feelings seem to come out of us in the form of negative behaviours like
comparisons, criticism and complains, then branch out into other emotions such
as anger, stress, and feeling overwhelmed.
The
truth is, people themselves are not negative; behaviours are. People are
affected by negativity, which turns into negative behaviours.
For
example, there are constant comparisons; we might be told how our colleagues
are better than us, how they meet their targets with ease while I am always
late for my deadlines. Parents might guilt trip how my sister is more caring
for them. Spouse might find the neighbour’s wife hotter, younger. Comparison sometimes, used as a tool for
encouraging others to do better in life. So, there is constant comparison
between siblings, among peers, with cousins etc.
I
believe it’s a complete fallacy, because behind every comparison the implicit
message is ‘you are not good enough’. So, comparison is essentially criticism.
All that it does is chips at one’s sense of self worth.
Truth
is, people criticise to create emotional distance, to feel better about themselves
or because they envy others.
Our brains are designed to work to make us
more like those that we are around. If we are around negativity, we will become more
negative. If we surround ourselves with uplifting people and messages, we will
become more positive.
What happens when we don’t have
a choice? Sometimes the negative people in our lives are family members or work
colleagues. This makes it even more important to know how to deal with the
negativity so that we don’t absorb it.
Have
a open mind, act positive and feel gratitude for the good things happen to you.
Positive thinking is that, rather than criticise show people how to do things, show
respect or mind your own business. Show praise and empathy rather than
criticise.
The
next devil is Complain! For example, with parents, it’s a continuous lament about the good
old days and how today’s generation is so laidback and useless. Complainers
find something wrong with anything. Nothing will ever be good enough for them.
It doesn’t matter if someone does everything right, complainers will always
find a way to pick it apart. Complainers focus on the negative and fail to see
all of the amazing things around them.
When
you throw negative energy at another human being, you are hurting him or her,
whether you realise it or not. At the same time, you are throwing negative energy
out in the universe for yourself. What you put out is what you get back.
Accept
that everyone is unique, skillfull, and beautiful in his/her own way. Their
purpose of life is different, and we should appreciate for what they are and
respect their choices.
Happiness, wealth, love,
friendship, health, or success are leaves or branches of Peace. Sow peace and
If you manage to find this peace within, you will definitely have Joy. And this
inner joy would bring you everything you want in or from your life.
Happiness and peace also come through simple things you love,
such as reading a good book, being with people you love, travelling, or a hobby.
You can enjoy many moments of peace every day, when you do small, simple things
you love and through acts of gratitude. Think about solutions, not about
problems.
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