The People We Appreciate Know They Matter
Appreciation is more than saying “thank you.” It is noticing the effort, kindness and presence of people we often take for granted.
We all like to feel appreciated.
When someone notices our effort, remembers something we did, or simply says, “I’m glad you were there,” it can stay with us for a long time.
But there is something interesting about appreciation:
We often notice what people do for us only after they stop doing it.
We get used to a parent preparing our meals.
We get used to a partner being there.
We get used to a colleague helping us.
We get used to a friend calling.
We get used to the person who cleans our surroundings, delivers something to our door, teaches our children, drives us somewhere or quietly makes our daily life easier.
Familiarity can make valuable things invisible.
And perhaps one of the simplest ways to become a better human is to start noticing again .
Appreciation Is Not Flattery
Appreciation is sometimes confused with praise.
They are not quite the same.
Praise can sometimes be about making someone feel good.
Appreciation is about recognising something that genuinely matters.
Instead of saying:
“You are amazing.”
you might say:
“Thank you for staying late to help me finish that work. I know you had your own things to do.”
The second one carries more meaning because you noticed something specific.
Appreciation says: “I saw what you did. It mattered.”
We Take People for Granted
Think about the people closest to you.
How often do you tell your parents that you appreciate what they have done for you?
How often do you thank your partner for the small things they do every day?
How often do you tell a friend that their presence has made your life better?
How often do you appreciate a colleague who makes difficult days easier?
We sometimes assume:
“They already know.”
Maybe they do.
But why make someone guess?
Some words become more valuable when they are spoken while there is still time to hear them.
Notice the Things That Usually Go Unnoticed
Appreciation doesn't require a special occasion.
Look around.
Someone probably did something today that made your life easier.
Someone opened a door.
Someone answered your question.
Someone listened.
Someone cleaned something you didn't have to clean.
Someone cooked.
Someone taught.
Someone waited.
Someone helped.
Someone simply asked:
“Are you okay?”
These things may seem small.
But a life is made of small things.
What feels ordinary to us may represent someone's time, effort or care.
Appreciation Changes What We Notice
Our minds naturally notice problems.
The one mistake can become more visible than the twenty things that went right.
The one rude comment can stay longer than ten kind ones.
The one thing missing from our life can overshadow everything already present.
Appreciation doesn't mean pretending that problems don't exist.
It means refusing to let them become the only things we see.
When we deliberately look for what is good, useful or meaningful, we begin noticing things that were always there.
A conversation.
A meal.
A safe place to sleep.
A person who cares.
A chance to learn.
A second opportunity.
A beautiful morning.
A helping hand from a stranger.
Life doesn't have to be perfect for something to be worth appreciating.
Appreciation Is Not About Ignoring Problems
This is important.
Appreciation doesn't mean saying:
“Everything is wonderful.”
when it isn't.
You can appreciate someone and still disagree with them.
You can appreciate your job and still want to improve it.
You can appreciate your family and still have difficult conversations.
You can appreciate someone's good qualities and still set boundaries around behaviour that hurts you.
You can appreciate what you have while still working toward something better.
Gratitude and ambition can exist together.
Say What You Mean — Specifically
Instead of saying:
“Thanks for everything.”
try saying what you actually noticed.
“Thank you for listening when I was having a difficult day.”
“I noticed that you helped everyone even though nobody asked you.”
“I appreciate how patient you were with me.”
“Thank you for making time for me.”
“I don't say it often, but I really value having you in my life.”
Specific appreciation feels different because it tells someone:
You didn't just say thank you. You noticed me.
Appreciation at Home
Our closest relationships often receive the least appreciation because we assume they will always be there.
A parent may spend years doing things for the family without hearing a simple thank you.
A partner may quietly carry responsibilities that nobody notices.
A child may make an effort to do something well but hear only what they did wrong.
We can change this.
Notice the effort before pointing out the imperfection.
Instead of:
“Why didn't you do it properly?”
sometimes begin with:
“I saw that you tried. Let's see how we can make it better.”
Correction and appreciation can coexist.
In fact, people often receive correction better when they know their effort is seen.
Appreciation at Work
Workplaces can easily become places where people hear about mistakes but rarely hear about what they did well.
A simple message can change that.
“You handled that difficult conversation thoughtfully.”
“Thank you for taking ownership of this.”
“Your preparation made the meeting much easier.”
This isn't about manipulating people into working harder.
It isn't about creating artificial positivity.
And it shouldn't replace fair compensation, good leadership or a healthy work environment.
It is simply about recognising another human being's contribution.
People should not have to fail before we notice them.
Appreciation Can Cross Differences
Here is where appreciation becomes especially powerful for Live and Let Live.
You don't have to agree with someone to appreciate something about them.
You may disagree with someone's beliefs but appreciate their honesty.
You may have different political opinions but appreciate their willingness to help others.
You may have completely different personalities but appreciate their loyalty.
You may not understand someone's lifestyle but appreciate their kindness.
This is important because human beings are rarely completely right or completely wrong.
If we look carefully, we can often find something worthy of respect even in people with whom we strongly disagree.
Appreciation can become a bridge where agreement cannot.
Appreciate Yourself Too
Appreciation should not always flow outward.
Sometimes we need to recognise our own effort.
Not in an arrogant way.
In a compassionate way.
Perhaps you survived something difficult.
Perhaps you started again after failing.
Perhaps you apologised when you were wrong.
Perhaps you learned something new.
Perhaps you became more patient than you used to be.
Perhaps you simply made it through a difficult day.
Don't wait for someone else to recognise every step you take.
You can acknowledge your own progress.
Self-appreciation is not self-importance. It is recognising your own humanity.
Don't Wait for a Special Occasion
Birthdays.
Anniversaries.
Promotions.
Retirement.
Farewells.
These occasions naturally make us express appreciation.
But why wait?
Why should someone have to leave before we tell them what they meant to us?
Why should a colleague retire before we tell them that their guidance mattered?
Why should a parent grow old before we acknowledge everything they did?
Why should a friend disappear before we realise how much their presence meant?
Appreciation is most powerful when it is timely.
Say it while the person is still there to hear it.
A Simple Seven-Day Appreciation Practice
Try this for one week.
Every day, appreciate one person.
But make it specific.
Day 1 — Family
Tell someone at home something you genuinely appreciate about them.
Day 2 — Friend
Tell a friend why their presence matters to you.
Day 3 — Work
Recognise a colleague's effort.
Day 4 — Someone Who Helps You
Thank someone whose work often goes unnoticed.
Day 5 — Yourself
Write down one thing you handled well.
Day 6 — A Stranger
Notice an act of kindness and acknowledge it.
Day 7 — Someone You Have Taken for Granted
Tell them something you should have said earlier.
Don't make it complicated.
Notice. Name it. Say it.
Appreciation and Our Four Principles
LIVE
Notice the life you are already living instead of constantly waiting for the next achievement to make you happy.
LET LIVE
Recognise that other people have their own journeys, choices and ways of seeing the world.
LET LOVE
Appreciate people not because they are useful to you, but because their lives have value.
LEAVE KINDER
Make people feel seen.
A genuine word of appreciation can be one small way of leaving someone a little better than you found them.
One Small Habit That Can Change Your Day
Before going to sleep tonight, ask yourself:
“Who made my life a little easier, happier or better today?”
It could be someone you know.
It could be someone you barely noticed.
It could even be yourself.
Then, if possible, tell them.
Not tomorrow.
Not someday.
Today.
The Things We Take for Granted Are Often the Things That Matter Most
We don't usually notice breathing until we struggle to breathe.
We don't usually notice health until it changes.
We don't always notice someone's presence until they are absent.
We don't always recognise someone's kindness until we need it.
And we don't always understand someone's value until we can no longer thank them.
Perhaps appreciation is simply the practice of not waiting for absence to teach us the value of presence.
Someone You Know May Need to Hear This
Think of one person who has quietly made your life better.
Maybe they have never asked for recognition.
Maybe they would be surprised to know how much they mean to you.
Don't just share this article with them.
Tell them.
Send a message.
Make a call.
Sit beside them.
Say the words.
Because one day, “I should have told them” may be all that remains.
Today, you still have the chance to say:
“I appreciate you.”
And sometimes, those three words can mean much more than we realise.
Don't wait until someone is gone to realise what they meant to you.
Notice people while they are here.
Appreciate effort while it is being made.
Say thank you while there is still someone to hear it.
And when you can, leave people feeling a little more valued than when you found them.
LIVE. LET LIVE. LET LOVE. LEAVE KINDER.
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Nice expression Ishan...worth a read....look forward to your next.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
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